NatGeo

Jason and I are pretty boring people for the most part. We are even boring when it comes to watching television. We rarely turn on our TV and it is not uncommon for us to 4 to 6 weeks at a time without ever turning our TV on a single time. Quite frankly we simply don’t have time to sit and watch television. However on the rare occasion when we do watch TV we continue our boring streak. We usually watch National Geographic, Discovery, History Channel, or Animal Planet. Yes, I know, everyone wants to party at our house now!

This weekend we actually turned on the television and watched some TV. Somehow we ended up watching a documentary about Honey Badgers. I kind of knew what Honey Badgers were in a vague sort of way. I knew they were supposed to be really bad ass creatures that you didn’t want to mess with but beyond that I knew nothing.

So Jason and I are watching this documentary and it starts off with this honey badger climbing a tree, casually plucking a cobra (!!!!) out of the tree, and eating it. No big deal; climb tree, grab cobra, eat cobra. I could see why these creatures are considered fearsome. Next we saw another honey badger flushing mice and rats out of ground holes and eating them.

I happened to glance over at Jason and I could see the wheels turning in his head. I immediately said “No, we are not going to have a honey badger.” Jason gave me a sour look. It really irritates him when I read his mind like that and answer his question before he has even asked it.

We settle back in to watching the honey badgers. Next up was a badger named Little Man. Little Man proceeded to chase down what the narrator claimed was one of the most venomous snakes in the world, I think a Puffer snake. Little Man wrestles with the Puffer snake, wins, and proceeds to start eating it. Midway through his meal his side begins to swell. The snake had bitten him in the battle. He then passed out for two hours and everyone thought Little Man was going to die. Suddenly Little Man began to revive, and he got up, finished eating the snake, and moved on.

To say Jason was impressed was an understatement. He rambled on and on about these amazing honey badgers that went after snakes and rodents. I understood why Jason was enamored. We are both terrified of snakes. We’ve only had two snake sightings in the last eight years and they were both “good” snakes (and after seeing this Puffer snake I am confident I will never live in a place where they live!). However as far as either of us is concerned there is no such thing as a good snake. I may scream like a girl when I see a snake but, well, Jason does too. Jason also hates, loathes, despises mice and rats. Apparently there was an incident when he was a kid where he was sent to clean out a grain bin, it was full of rodents, and one got in the leg of his pants. He is permanently and irrevocably scarred by this incident. I would be as well.

Importing a honey badger was looking better and better to Jason with every minute we watched of the documentary. A kind of cute-in-a-fierce-way weasel looking thing that would roam the farm and take care of any snakes and rats? From Jason’s perspective this was looking like manna from heaven. I pointed out that although the possibility always exists, we basically never see snakes and don’t see too many mice and rats. “How would we train it to stay on the farm? Would it go after the horses? Us? What about the girls?” (whenever we say “the girls” we are referring to the fainting goats, Mina, Jo and Miss Lyle). Jason’s momentary dreams of a honey badger withered and died on the vine. It was a nice thought while it lasted.

If you ever happen to see a documentary about honey badgers, undoubtedly you will now always think of us, and especially Jason. At least for now you can be confident that your horse will not encounter a honey badger on our farm.

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From left to right the little dots are George and Gus, Faune and Asterik, Titan, Silver and Winston …