Close Encounter

I realize there are some people out there that like snakes. I am not one of them. As you have probably already guessed I had a close encounter with a snake today. It all started off very innocently. The dogs were barking like crazy and I went to investigate. I found them on the driveway and realized they were barking at a snake. It was hard to tell exactly how big this snake was since it was all coiled up and repeatedly striking at the dogs. To say this snake was acting like he had gotten up on the wrong side of the bed would be an understatement. I was also pretty sure that I was having my first ever encounter with a poisonous snake judging from the color pattern.

To put it bluntly I freaked out. I have a major snake phobia, and I was the only on the farm at the time so I could not dump this problem in someone else’s lap while I ran off to curl up in the fetal position and hide. I called Jason in tears and explained my situation to him. His suggestion was that I run the snake over with a car. The problem was I had no vehicle at that point in time. Our truck is still on the injured reserve list (but hopefully gets off that list tomorrow) and Jason was off in our other vehicle.

After assessing my options I decided that I had no choice but to hike up to my parents’ house and commandeer my mom’s Mercedes. That poor vehicle gets pressed into some interesting jobs around the farm. Since I would rather be safe than sorry I locked the doors after I got in and headed off to do battle with the snake. I honked the horn like a mad woman so the dogs would get out of the way and floored it at the snake. Amazingly the SOB didn’t just die. It slithered away. I put it in reverse and went for it again but we now have a very angry snake slithering around somewhere, and it has a personal vendetta against me. At least it left and the dogs went back to the house unharmed.

I called Jason back in tears to give him an update on the one that got away. Instead of hearing about how brave I was or getting an “atta girl” for trying, I was informed I must have been going to slow or missed the head. Gee, thanks.

And for those of you who are going to tell me about my cruelty to the snake I really don’t care. As this snake learned today, if you go after any animal on my farm – or my child – I will break out a level of crazy that will make your nightmares seem like a happy place (and thank you facebook for that gem of a quote). I hope the sucker slithered off to die.

It will probably be a month before I can sleep again.

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Thomas and Hemi having a grooming session